Since kindergarten, I have wanted to be a teacher. I reached college age, four years in the Education Program flew by, and I graduated with the long-awaited teaching certificate. I had heard all the lines…“We can’t prepare you completely for every child you will encounter…your education is the foundation, and then you have to get out there and learn from them!”, and “Sometimes I think kids teach us as much as we teach them.”
Nothing could have prepared me for Lynn. We met in early September, when she arrived six days late. Before I even heard the label, I knew there was something different about her. They called her “Special Needs”. (Personally I don’t think that label is very helpful. For one thing, don’t all kids have special needs? For another, there’s such a wide variety of kids that are given that label…it doesn’t tell you what to expect.)
Lynn was different from anyone I had ever met, and I didn’t know how she’d fit in. She always kept her head to one side. She didn’t give me much of a response when I talked to her. I concluded that I’d have to be patient, watch her, and see what she could do. I’d have to take it one day at a time.
I kept my distance emotionally at first. I did as much as I could for her in an “It’s my job” sort of way. It was hard to get to know her, and I was afraid to try too much. She seemed so fragile. She had lots of doctor’s appointments, and kept getting infections. She had to take medicine three times a day for seizures. She had to get a feeding tube that stuck out of her belly, because she had trouble swallowing and breathing at the same time and wasn’t getting the proper nutrition. She got a special wheelchair to help her get around. I found myself just watching her, wondering about her…what does she think? What does she experience?
Slowly, Lynn found her way into my heart. After knowing her for a year and a half, I’d truly say I love her. She has changed me. Her sweetness and simplicity have a way of “cutting out the fluff”. I appreciate things now that I might have taken for granted before. Health. A walk in the sunshine. My beautiful, bright three-year-old daughter Diane. Love that isn’t based on what we accomplish. Every day that God has given me to learn to know and love Him better. Every chance that I have to share Christ with someone who’s facing an uncertain eternity. Lynn has made me realize what a gift life is, and she has made me both bold and persistent. I am grateful that I have had the chance to know her.
There are a few things about Lynn that I have not yet said. Lynn is her middle name; her first name is Stephanie. She is not my student, she is my 20-month-old daughter, born September 9, 1999. She was diagnosed with a rare genetic syndrome and has developed no new skills since the day she was born. Her life expectancy is limited to early childhood. Stephanie is our little angel, sent down to stay with us for a little while and to teach us and bless us while she’s here. My husband Brian and I treasure every day with her. We know that she is in our Heavenly Father’s hands. We trust that He is perfectly able to hold her future…whether that is on earth with us or in heaven with Him.
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